July 3, 1863

July 3, 1863

11:18 pm

I finally found time to set down an’ write in my little journal.  It’s been a long day of blood, battles, an’ loss.  I may be a Yankee, but I sure do not understand what them rebels thought they were goin’ to do.  We were entrenched really good on Cemetery Ridge.  Lots of protection from the Rebs sharpshooters and cannons.  The Rebs were across this field up on Seminary Ridge.  We set there watching them try to get lined up a lot of the morning.  My fellow Vermonters and I just scratched our heads and wondered when the Rebs were goin’ to finally start shooting.  

We did hear a battle going on over on Culp’s Hill… after awhile it seemed to Peter out and the word came through that we had defeated the Rebs there.  We all give a huge cheer and went back to keeping an eye on the Rebs, making’ sure they didn’t get their sharpshooters closer.  

Then about 1:00 pm the cannons started firing.  The Rebs couldn’t seem to get their cannons to hit nothin’!  They was way short or way long.  My captain sent me and Ollie down to t’ Pennsylvania line to see if we had new orders, but we was told to stay put and “hold t’ line”.  

Funny thing about the cannons, we overshot the Rebs batteries too!  But when we missed the cannons, we hit their infantry!  Talk about getting rid of the Rebs!  Finally, the barrage stopped. It was hot as hell by then.  Ya couldn’t see anything due to the smoke!  Some of the men got scared we’d lost all our cannons; others just set back, drank a little water, covered their noses with bandanas to rid the smoke, and made sure their rifles and pistols were loaded.  I checked my rifle, made sure my bayonet was attached, checked my Bowie knife and tomahawk were ready and found a nice tree to slither up and wait in. 

Then the Rebs did the dumbest thing they could have done.  They started marching, in formation across the field!  A field that was about 2 miles from us!  Yeah, they looked like they went on forever!  It looked like the whole South was there!  They was just a marchin’ along.  Still we waited.  The Rebs were gettin’ close when suddenly our cannons opened up on them !  Little Colonel Freeman McGilvery’s  artillery opened fire on the Rebs from where they had been hidden just north of Little Round Top!  They raked the Rebs right flank with their accuracy!  Then our cannons on Cemetery Hill opened up hittin’ the Rebs left flank!  That marchin’ line didn’t look so good as holes began appearin’!  The holes would fill up only to be blown open again and less and less Rebs were fillin’ in .  The Rebs started chargin’ when they was about 400 yards away!  But they didn’t know about the Ohioans riflemen!  When the Ohioans opened fire, the Rebs didn’t know what hit them!  They turned around and hightailed it back to Seminary Ridge and beyond.  They even got some other Reb divisions to hightail back to the South with them!  I reckon they didn’t stop runnin’ until they got back to Virginia! The Ohioans turned their attention to the new left Reb flank and soon had them hightailing it as well!  

Meanwhile, we was shootin’ as well!  The Rebs broke a hole through,  but they weren’t there long,  most were on the ground dead or dyin’!  

More of our artillery opened up and Reb body parts were raining own all over that field.  It was a huge win for us in the Union!  

Funny thing about the battle, it didn’t even last an hour; yet, the Rebs lost a lot of men. Over 1,123 dead; 4,019 wounded; 3,750 captured…. We lost a lot as well , but not nearly as many as the Rebs.  We had 1,500 men dead or wounded.  My buddy, Ollie, was one of those wounded… looks like he will be sent back home..

As fer me, I’ve been going through the field with the other medics.  Pickin’ through the piles of bodies, parts, and wounded, we’ve gotten the Union men to the hospital tents.  We’re waiting fer the Rebs to come get their wounded.  When we saw they was in full retreat, we brought their wounded to our doctors.  We worked on naming the dead in both.  We tagged them and put them in an order of states .  One Reb division had no one left, so we riffled through their personal belongings hoping to find who they were…. Some were just goin’ to unknown.  I couldn’t help but think about the families they left behind never knowing what happened to their son, father, uncle.  

Now I’m hoping to go to sleep, but the moanin’ and groanin of the wounded is heard throughout.  The Reb who was with me searchin the dead was a drummer boy, looking for his 2 brothers.  The boy was only 10, his brothers were 15 and 17.  We found them, laying next to one another.  One dead, one severely wounded.  One wearing grey, the other blue.  I made the the boy change into a blue uniform we found on a dead soldier.  It was big, but I made sure he and his Union brother stayed together.  I made arrangements for their other brother to be buried with the Reb dead.  A 15 year old boy, shouldn’t be being buried all because some rich Rebel man didn’t want to fight and hired this boy to take his place!  All for the sum of 15$ confederate.  I gotta stop thinkin.  I’ve lived through another battle and I gotta get ready for tomorrow…. 

Love The Moment

Today started out like any ordinary day.  I drove my husband to work; headed home picked up
my daughter and Mom.  Drove Mom to do her errands, then I decided the three of us needed a little adventure. I drove to Spring Hill where a Rural King store is.  It’s a destination store filled with wonders.  On Saturdays, a Farmers Market is held in its parking lot.  Both Mom and my daughter uttered expressions of delight when I pulled in and parked.  We headed to the farmers market first, Mandi disappearing into the joys of crafts, artwork, organic puppy treats and handmade soaps.  Mom and I moved slowly for she’s 85 years young and my arthritis keeps me limping.  We wandered to a slot where a woman from a German bakery was selling breads, cherry danish, and other delicious baked goods.  Mom was eyeing one of the breads; “Mom do you want the bread ?” I asked.  “How much is it?”  The woman told us the amount.  “Mom, do you want the bread?”  “No”, she answered, “It’s too much”.  “Would you you like it?”.  “Yes, but it’s too much”.    I look over at the woman and tell her “I’ll take it”.  I pay for it and hand it to Mom.  She holds it close, her face filled with happiness.
We go to the stall selling cheese curds, I buy a package, it’s a favorite treat for us.  Then we meander to the vegetable stand. Beasley Farms runs it and the vegetables are always delicious. I pick up cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes, zucchini, onions, and green peppers.  I made sure to split up the veggies, for Mom loves all vegetables  and these are organic as well.  She loves onions and peppers and sure enough when we returned home, she busied herself in her apartment cooking them.
After this I wound up signing a couple of petitions for the Democratic Party which was a pleasant surprise to see in a red dominated county!  Then into Rural King itself!  Ah!  The fun of looking at baby chicks and ducklings.  To our delight there was a baby miniature pig there as well.  It was adorable and gave Mandi kisses on her hand.  If I lived in a rural area...
We move along with our shopping cart which is filled with 6 cases of water. I’m looking at the candy aisle.  It is filled with candy I grew up with; salt water taffy, orange and peppermint slices, root beer barrels; “I love this aisle”, I tell Mom.  I wander down a little further.  “Yvonne!  Vonnie! “. I hear my mom call to me.  I stop and turn around looking at her questioning.  “Yvonne, can I get this?  I haven’t seen or had these in years”!  Suddenly, time stopped.  An image pops into my head,  I’m looking at my mom, but she’s quite a bit younger. “Mommy”? I asked.  “Can I have this?”  I’m just a child of 5 or 6.  In my hand is a bag of Sugar Baby, those sweet chewy caramel bites.  Mom smiled and nods, “Yes”.
I’m thrust back into the present my mom asking me if she could have the candy.  I laugh and say “Yes Mom “!  She smiles happily and brings her candy.  I laugh again.  Then I watch her walk by me heading to the Christmas aisle.  The roles have been switched.  I have the responsibility of taking care of her.  As she guided me as a child, my stepmother guided me as a teenager, and my mom watching over me as young adult who was dealing with depression and PTSD; I am now the one who watches over my mom.  My sister and I share this, but for the first time I realized the truth with this one moment.
Some day, my daughter and I will switch roles as I age.  To face the inevitable death of one’s parents is excruciatingly painful.  I am blessed with both my father and mother still living and my stepmother.  Many I know have lost one parent.  Some both.  Treasure the moments you share with those you call family.  They don’t have to be blood related - just the knowledge you love them.  Get rid of angers and old disputes for they are from the past, not today. As Qui- Gon told Obi-Wan in Star Wars The Phantom Menace:  “Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs.  Feel, don’t think.  Trust your instincts “.  He was right.  In these type of moments, we need to trust ourselves; allow ourselves to just feel the moment and understand it.

Just a rambling thought.  Godspeed.

One Moment

I’m leaning against the pillows on the bed gazing out the windows of the which leads out to our deck.  In the tree directly in front of the deck hangs a bird feeder filled with seeds , nuts, and fruits. A brown squirrel sitting in the feeder nibbles on a sunflower seed.  It’s tail flicks once in awhile as it munches it’s food. A female cardinal lands on a branch just off to the side, watching the squirrel.  Within the branches of a nearby rain tree, another squirrel runs and leaps about, playing as a woodpecker raps at the trunk of the tree.
I watch all this noting how the sky which had been blue and sunny, is now covered with grey clouds threatening to unloose the rain they hold.  Yet, the rain does not come and the birds and squirrels enjoy the reprieve.  Beside me on the bed curled tightly against my right side lies Geralt.  A white majestic feline who is purring loudly as my hand glides along his white furred body.  Booker, my black Labrador mix lies by my left knee, his black hair gleaming from the light outside. Little Dorian curls against my left side, nuzzling me in anticipation of my petting him.
A moment of repose and contentment fills the room.  I hope you will have a similar experience.  Just a rambling thought for the day.  Enjoy the moment and godspeed.

Something Different

It’s been a busy day, running errands, taking hubby to work, browsing in the mall, daughter has been doing Christmas shopping and I am at a loss trying to figure out Christmas gifts this year.  Not much funds and not very creative.  Oh well, something will come to mind, even if it is coupons I create to be used.  Not a bad idea actually.  You know a coupon which says, This is good for 3 dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies; or maybe, Good for one trip to Disney Springs!  Heck, I would love that!  Too often people run around buying all sorts of things; when in reality some would just like to spend time together.

Yeah, I know, telling somebody you got a coupon from your mom saying Good for a dinner of chicken paprikash isn’t the same as Mom got me a new iPhone or tablet.  Not even like Dad got me a gift certificate to Macy’s!  Yet, for some these homemade coupons could be more highly valued for they represent the love of whoever created them.  A pair of knitted slippers.  A special photo framed within pieces of wood made from branches.  A quilt or blanket made by arthritic hands convey a deeper devotion than all the expensive jewelry bought.

If you’ve ever worked retail, you know the week after Christmas is busy as people return the gifts they were given.  A number of them become irritable when they discover how little grandma spent on the item.  Not realizing grandma gave up funds needed for other things.  Too much greed and no caring for what some have given.  Think I’m making this up?  Think again.  I’ve seen it from working in retail.  It’s makes me humble to think of what my loved ones have done to give me something.  Working retail at Christmas is overwhelming and disturbing when stuck with nothing but returns.

Just a rambling thought about doing something different.  Something meaningful.  Maybe that’s what Christmas is all about.  Enjoy the moment and godspeed.

Autumn!! Time To Relax And Enjoy!

Ahhh!  Cool air is finally filtering its way through Florida.  Instead of the 90 heat and humidity we’ve been sweltering in; its 74 and cool breezes to enjoy.  A delightful change as autumn seems to be arriving.  Autumn; the one season where celebrations are abundant!  So many festivals and incredible colors brighten the days as the day (in the Northern Hemisphere) shortens and night extends giving us the time we need for resting after the strenuous and stressful days of summer.

The harvest is at hand or completed.  The homes are filled to the roofs with the fruits of harvest and the family is gathered together to tell stories, play games, read, or do crafts.  Such a wonderful time of the year!  Yes, we are thrilled with the abundance we have been given and now enjoy a respite from the work.

I awake with a jerk from the meandering my mind was doing!  Harvest?  Abundance of fruits from the soil?  Families enjoying time together?  What the hell century was I in?  It sure wasn’t the 21st Century!  Families are too busy to be around one another.  Kids are in their rooms with computers, TVs, tablets, or phones.  Quite often they are being taken from one activity to another, seldom at home or with other family members.  Parents are working, networking, or transporting their children; never slowing down to enjoy the beauty of autumn much less realizing the comfort of longer nights to relax in.

The harvest?  Heck, there are some people who haven’t got the faintest where the food they eat comes from.  Quite often   it comes from fast food restaurants and then people complain about why there are so many who are unhealthy.  I’m still trying to come to terms over the fact 7% of American adults think chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows.  What has happened to us?  How stupid are we?
The truth is we have lost something.  We’ve lost the ability to relax and talk to one another.  We don’t take the time to learn about the world around us.  Our children are seldom exposed to nature or are to busy to even notice it. We’ve become to rely on technology too much; displacing manual abilities.  We depend to much on artificial intelligence than on our own.

Okay, enough of doom and gloom which so many love to indulge in.  Yes, people need to slow down. Hopefully, they will but it’s their decision.  We do need to educate our children and adults.  We need to focus on teaching not on taking tests.  We need to set aside some time and just enjoy each other.  It’s our decision.  Do me a favor though, just stop for a moment, go outside, listen to the sounds around you.  Hear the birds chirping and singing?  There’s a squirrel chattering nearby.  A dog barks in the distance.  Children laughing as they play.  The rustle of leaves as the wind brushes against them.   Yes! This is autumn!  Time to enjoy the brilliance of color and festivities!

Just a rambling thought I had today.  Have a wonderful day and godspeed!

Praying for the Weekend

Another weekend is upon us.  Once weekends were days the weary workers were given off to rest, recuperate, and prepare for the coming week’s work.  Before that weekends didn’t occur, just a period of time for worship of the chosen god and that was all.  No, weekends were more of a modern thought which has now been set aside by many businesses for in truth the god who is praised the most is the god of money and greed.

Think I’m joking?  Think again.  This country in many ways was created to worship money, capitalism, and greed.  When the “new world  was discovered by Europeans” what was it the Europeans desired?  If you said land , you would be correct. However, there was more.  The Spaniards flocked there to grab the gold, gems, jewelry, and Native Americans as slaves.  Once the French and English saw this, it sparked the avarice and sent individuals from these nations to do the same.  They plunged into the “new world “ hunting for furs, fishing, establishing colonies; thereby, taking the land from those who dwelled here before , all for the sake of money.

Yes, the god of money was and is prevalent within this land we call our home.  Even the Christian Bible was twisted as the pastors, ministers, priests, and teachers of this religion began promoting the promise of wealth over the teachings of the one they said they believed in.  Instead, they developed “prosperity gospel “ a creed which served to increase hatred and disdain toward the poor and needy and uplifted the value of gaining and increasing wealth.  Don’t believe me, read your Bible.  Read the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  Read John’s letters 1,2, and 3.  Read the book of James. Think about what is being said of false teachers and prophets. Why do you think these epistles and Gospels were written?  For the same reason I’m talking about.  The god of money and greed is captivating and seductive.

Enjoy your weekend and think of those who don’t get to enjoy one.  They are there serving you and you are helping their employers achieve wealth.  Kinda fascinating isn’t it, the ones who work the weekends receive the lowest pay, while who they work for take the largest amount.  Oh well such is life as worshiping money leads us on a backwards path of serfs and lords.

Have fun!

Embrace the Earth

Autumn finally showed it’s cool weather today.  Our high was only 79 degrees F and tomorrow morning we will rise to a delightful 68 degrees.  Ahhh!  After months of heat and high humidity perhaps we will begin to enjoy cooler temperatures; but then again maybe not.  Who knows?  At this moment though we will embrace the lowering temps.

Though there are those who disbelieve in global warming/ climate change, I find myself wondering what they think is happening to the Earth.  Of course, I should no better than ask; however, how is one to discover another person’s thoughts.  Yes, I asked and read.  I’m still trying to figure out the reasoning for the belief.

The one answer I found the most was it’s god’s doing.  That’s right, the increasing temperature is all god’s fault.  “If there is global warming “, they say, it’s what god wants.  Okay.  god wants the world,which he placed us as stewards of , to be destroyed.  I don’t know about you, but that tells me we were crappy caretakers.  Plus, it doesn’t make sense, all religions have the same basis, which is love and compassion.  Doesn’t really make the cut in explaining global warming and how it’s god’s idea.

Then there is the other answer many give.  “There isn’t any climate change!  It’s “fake news”!  I sit there with my jaw dropped open, thinking of all the scientific tests, the rising of temperatures, and the melting of polar ice caps and glaciers.  Who are these people?  Where do they come up with all this stuff.  Interestingly, they are our family members, friends, politicians, teachers, firefighters, police, bankers, mechanics, chefs, cooks, store clerks, customers, and all of the other jobs and roles humans perform.

The sad part about this is these individuals are so sure of their view, they won’t listen to any other perspective.  Both fervently believe in their truth, as do I believe in my own.  The question then comes , how do we change the others minds.  My answer , you won’t.  Not if all you are doing is trying to change minds.  Instead, we need to listen, rationalize, and realize we need to work together to help our only home.

Yeah, I know it will never happen.  People said we couldn’t live in space, guess what?  We are.  Anyway, it’s just a rambling thought.  Have a great night and godspeed.