Today started out like any ordinary day. I drove my husband to work; headed home picked up
my daughter and Mom. Drove Mom to do her errands, then I decided the three of us needed a little adventure. I drove to Spring Hill where a Rural King store is. It’s a destination store filled with wonders. On Saturdays, a Farmers Market is held in its parking lot. Both Mom and my daughter uttered expressions of delight when I pulled in and parked. We headed to the farmers market first, Mandi disappearing into the joys of crafts, artwork, organic puppy treats and handmade soaps. Mom and I moved slowly for she’s 85 years young and my arthritis keeps me limping. We wandered to a slot where a woman from a German bakery was selling breads, cherry danish, and other delicious baked goods. Mom was eyeing one of the breads; “Mom do you want the bread ?” I asked. “How much is it?” The woman told us the amount. “Mom, do you want the bread?” “No”, she answered, “It’s too much”. “Would you you like it?”. “Yes, but it’s too much”. I look over at the woman and tell her “I’ll take it”. I pay for it and hand it to Mom. She holds it close, her face filled with happiness.
We go to the stall selling cheese curds, I buy a package, it’s a favorite treat for us. Then we meander to the vegetable stand. Beasley Farms runs it and the vegetables are always delicious. I pick up cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes, zucchini, onions, and green peppers. I made sure to split up the veggies, for Mom loves all vegetables and these are organic as well. She loves onions and peppers and sure enough when we returned home, she busied herself in her apartment cooking them.
After this I wound up signing a couple of petitions for the Democratic Party which was a pleasant surprise to see in a red dominated county! Then into Rural King itself! Ah! The fun of looking at baby chicks and ducklings. To our delight there was a baby miniature pig there as well. It was adorable and gave Mandi kisses on her hand. If I lived in a rural area...
We move along with our shopping cart which is filled with 6 cases of water. I’m looking at the candy aisle. It is filled with candy I grew up with; salt water taffy, orange and peppermint slices, root beer barrels; “I love this aisle”, I tell Mom. I wander down a little further. “Yvonne! Vonnie! “. I hear my mom call to me. I stop and turn around looking at her questioning. “Yvonne, can I get this? I haven’t seen or had these in years”! Suddenly, time stopped. An image pops into my head, I’m looking at my mom, but she’s quite a bit younger. “Mommy”? I asked. “Can I have this?” I’m just a child of 5 or 6. In my hand is a bag of Sugar Baby, those sweet chewy caramel bites. Mom smiled and nods, “Yes”.
I’m thrust back into the present my mom asking me if she could have the candy. I laugh and say “Yes Mom “! She smiles happily and brings her candy. I laugh again. Then I watch her walk by me heading to the Christmas aisle. The roles have been switched. I have the responsibility of taking care of her. As she guided me as a child, my stepmother guided me as a teenager, and my mom watching over me as young adult who was dealing with depression and PTSD; I am now the one who watches over my mom. My sister and I share this, but for the first time I realized the truth with this one moment.
Some day, my daughter and I will switch roles as I age. To face the inevitable death of one’s parents is excruciatingly painful. I am blessed with both my father and mother still living and my stepmother. Many I know have lost one parent. Some both. Treasure the moments you share with those you call family. They don’t have to be blood related - just the knowledge you love them. Get rid of angers and old disputes for they are from the past, not today. As Qui- Gon told Obi-Wan in Star Wars The Phantom Menace: “Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs. Feel, don’t think. Trust your instincts “. He was right. In these type of moments, we need to trust ourselves; allow ourselves to just feel the moment and understand it.
Just a rambling thought. Godspeed.
